How to Survive Scholastic Books for Girls

A plump, juicy bite of USDA Grade A prime time Sexism for your delectation:

Oh! and um…Scholastic Books.  Yeah, you.  Stay the fuck away from my daughters.

BOYS ONLY: How to Survive Anything!
Table of Contents:
How to Survive a shark attack
How to Survive in a Forest
How to Survive Frostbite
How to Survive a Plane Crash
How to Survive in the Desert
How to Survive a Polar Bear Attack
How to Survive a Flash Flood
How to Survive a Broken Leg
How to Survive an Earthquake
How to Survive a Forest Fire
How to Survive in a Whiteout
How to Survive a Zombie Invasion
How to Survive a Snakebite
How to Survive if Your Parachute Fails
How to Survive a Croc Attack
How to Survive a Lightning Strike
How to Survive a T-Rex
How to Survive Whitewater Rapids
How to Survive a Sinking Ship
How to Survive a Vampire Attack
How to Survive an Avalanche
How to Survive a Tornado
How to Survive Quicksand
How to Survive a Fall
How to Survive a Swarm of Bees
How to Survive in Space
GIRLS ONLY: How to Survive Anything!
Table of Contents:
How to survive a BFF Fight
How to Survive Soccer Tryouts
How to Survive a Breakout
How to Show You’re Sorry
(and chapter 3 is where we no longer care about “survival”)
How to Have the Best Sleepover Ever
How to Take the Perfect School Photo
How to Survive Brothers
Scary Survival Dos and Don’ts
(“don’t throw things or yell at your ghost. it may react badly.”)
How to Handle Becoming Rich
How to Keep Stuff Secret
How to Survive Tests
How to Survive Shyness
How to Handle Sudden Stardom
More Stardom Survival Tips
How to Survive a Camping Trip
(“fresh air is excellent for the skin”)
How to Survive a Fashion Disaster
How to Teach Your Cat to Sit
(are you #$&^%*@ kidding me?)
How to Turn a No Into a Yes
Top Tips for Speechmaking
How to Survive Embarrassment
How to Be a Mind Reader
How to Survive a Crush
Seaside Survival
(don’t wear heels. tie your hair back. sunglasses add glamour.)
How to Soothe Sunburn
How to Pick Perfect Sunglasses
Surviving a Zombie Attack
How to Spot a Frenemy
Brilliant Boredom Busters
How to Survive Truth or Dare
How to Beat Bullies
How to be an Amazing Babysitter



Filed under Feminism, Injustice, Parenting, Sexism

2 responses to “How to Survive Scholastic Books for Girls

  1. Please don’t tell me they’re actually selling these books 😦 I think its time we bought back book burning!
    I once bought one of those doodle books for myself (shut up. I like doodleing) I picked the boys one because you could doodle monsters and robots and aliens and dinosaurs and spaceships and all sorts of things! But in the girls book you could draw all sorts of far out creative things like fairies, princess dresses, rooms in a castle, princess dresses, pretty bows, princess dresses, flowers, princess dresses, princess dresses, flowers, princess dresses. Maybe I should have picked the girls one! All you have to do is chuck glitter at it and you’re done! Much easier for my tiny little female brain to handle!

    I find this current trend of separating books into genders really disturbing.

  2. The “boys” book is really for the hard-core outdoorsmen, people that live in a fantasy world, or either sex, depending on the chapter. How is teaching your cat how to sit an intrinsically “girl” activity?! Why is How to Survive a Zombie Attack in both books, but not How to Survive a Tornado, Forest Fire or Earthquake? I would love to know what to do if caught in a forest fire without having to find a man, because they have the knowledge I need for survival!! I guess natural disasters only strike in predominately male populations.

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